We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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