just tell him i said nine months
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
