I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
