First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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