I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
