I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
