Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
