I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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