I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
