so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
