Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Hippo gnu deer
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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