Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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