so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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