weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
