I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She told me I should be a condom model.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
