you guys were way drunker than both of me
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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