So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
