If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
