Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
