i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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