no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
