bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
she told me i tasted like america
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
