He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I need to align my fucking chakras
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
