Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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