almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
