some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
