Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
