So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Are we still banned from the library?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
