My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
