You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
