thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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