Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
