Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
