I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
