When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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