K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
