He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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