Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
