wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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