The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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