Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
