you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Randomize
