i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
40s are totally the cure
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
