doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
