i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
