the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i now understand why vodka
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
