After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
