We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Houston, we have a blender
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
