Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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