I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
